Warriors know when you are lying flat on the floor it is time to grab the spatula...
There is very little in life that cannot be either overcome or at least dealt with. In fact there is nothing that will not come to resolution. Even the worst things in life will ultimately end up as your greatest teacher no matter the pain involved. There is not a person I know who has endured an enormous trial that would not say in some way it bettered them or equipped them for a higher level in their lives. This is not an immediate revelation most often but once seasons pass it becomes clear what these trials were preparing you to do. Time is always your friend. Sometimes it is just a matter of patience and giving the time some time.
One thing I have learned these nearly two years is that life is meant to be shared. Losing the one I vowed to share my life with left me with an unexpected void. I do not have extended family that rushed to comfort the girls' and me so I opened my trust to beloved friends who became my family of choice and you Warriors who became our tribe. If you do not have friends I encourage you to make some. You do not need many but you need a few true blue pals to see you through. People might disappoint you as you develop your close circle but do not despair. Let those who do not fit in the puzzle of your life go without question, anger, or ill will because they will be replaced with those meant to ride shotgun on your life's journey.
As I am writing my book about my road I recognized some of the things I wished I'd had when Warrior passed. I wished somebody who loved me had jumped on a plane without asking me "what do you need" and placed my head in their lap and rubbed my hair and let me cry. My dad lives in the same town I do. He never once called or sent a card. I only once ever crumbled and that was in the passenger seat of my best friend, Denise's, car where I cried like a child..hiccups and sobs that came from such an aching place I did not recognize them as mine. I did not have the luxury to lose my shit because I had the girls to show strength for and so I did not. My strength was sometimes poked at by people who should have admired it but I learned I did not care. Anybody not for my children, HIS children, first and foremost could be damned. People in these moments show you who they are and I'll tell you what... I believed them. I believed exactly what people spoke and what their actions demonstrated. I believed some people wanted to put themselves selfishly ahead of my kids for attention or gain and some people wanted to hold us up and protect us entirely. I made those who did the latter a part of our lives with a love and loyalty that will last until I die. Those who did the former are not grieved, they do not exist.
Wherever you find yourself today, Warriors, stretch yourself to somebody worthy of your space. You are capable of facing whatever trial you have before you alone but it is more tolerable with a warrior ally to cheer you from the sidelines when necessary and have your back if things come to blows. Denise and I were ending our day with a couple texts of encouragement recently after a rough week. She is a single mom who puts her daughter first always which sometimes makes for worry we all face in the quiet of the night. I told her she is never alone in this, that as long as I have two nickels to my name she can have one and we will rub the hell out of them...together.
You only need one or two people in your life who are for you entirely. Look for those people. Honor them. Treasure them. Reach out to them and give it all back to them tenfold. They will be your sanity and sunshine and possibly even your salvation.
I believe when you are face down and flat on the floor there is a person out there for you...call to them and they will come running...with a warrior sized spatula...ALWAYS!!
xo❤️Dana
