I believe in boundaries.
Depending on one’s personality the establishment of said boundaries is sometimes “difficult”. If you call yourself a Warrior difficulties come as no surprise so building the friendly fence that marks a boundary should be easy once undertaken. I’m a woman of small stature in a world full of huge personalities. I spent the first act of my life with, perhaps, the largest personality of all. My diminutive size however, does not make my voice small. We all have the power of ultimate conviction at our core so when we speak our truth it fully resonates.
I’ve expressed to those close to me NOLA kicked my a*%. That last loop in a full circle wrap up was closure I never thought to seek. Indy brought it to light saying, “Now all of us Warriors have been on that stage...”. After Warrior’s speech he beckoned me up but I felt too shy and didn’t join him. I don’t regret it; I was just being me. Still, the fact we presented four years later marked a graduation that has new boundaries to be set.
When you’ve busted your hump it’s easy to be frustrated by those who see none of the toil; only the triumphant moments. Don’t be. Frustration over uninformed perception is an avoidable distraction. Sometimes we perseverate on changing what belongs to another instead of taking charge of what rightfully belongs to us.
It’s easy to be pulled in directions of another’s desire when still trying to stitch yourself back together. I’ve found self care can only be addressed by building benevolent boundaries and putting those who cross them gently back into their place. You are not required to spill your last pint of blood for anyone who didn’t pause to observe you might be bleeding too.
We all struggle. Every last one of us have to toil and scrape. We don’t witness how each person passes life but we are lucky to have a trusted few to rest alongside. I’m blessed to have a stable of close friends who share the hardships we face in life. I do not take more than I give. I have equity in the friendships I’ve built so when one of us needs an advance there’s a wealth of love that spills forth. Those are healthy relationships with boundaries. Those are reciprocal and nourishing. These are not bounced check relationships; they don’t ask for pay out without deposits being made.
These are the markings of maturity in our interpersonal, human dealings. We have to set the standard for how we are treated and be certain we treat others we have asked into our lives with thoughtfulness, respect, and appreciation. It’s important to value one’s self enough to defend the parameters set. Do not be deterred by accusing words or gaslighting. Only you know how hard you’ve fought on the battlefield of life for your peace of mind as well as your treasured peace and quiet.
I believe in relationships and friendships built a brick at a time. I believe in paths worn crossing one neighbor’s house to the other. I believe in the right to put up a do not disturb sign for self preservation. I believe it is healthy self care, not selfishness, to know your boundaries, and keep them...Always!!!