Warriors Aren’t Mean Girls at Heart...

Chances are you’re a boy...that’s ok...go with me on this one; ‘mean girl’ is a state of mind; not gender specific. I have teenage daughters and I was a teenage girl myself. I know what bullying looks like from different angles. As a teen I was on the receiving end, I’ve doled it out in school yard retaliation, I advocated for my child when it rose to the level of such distress she didn’t even want to goto school. Bullying needs to be eradicated. I thought at my age I’d talk about bullying in a troubleshooting capacity. It didn’t occur to me I’d walk into its hotbed, have to extract my OWN a** without back up, keep my head held high, and have a lesson to share. It was the night I’d taken that epic slide down a flight of stairs and although bruised and battered with a black eye to boot I was excited to put on my Fryes. A girl’s night out with my bestie and a friend of her’s from out of town who’d brought her women friends to Santa Fe sounded just right. Not gonna lie, a splash of tequila was going to be a nice chaser to my shot down the stairs; rocks and salt to lick my wounds. The evening began with a fun catch up session and the meeting of a couple adorable ladies I imagined would soon be new, fast, friends. It was all fun and games until the big E showed up. I’d call her a drill sergeant but I respect those and it imbues her with more warmth than her body possessed. Uptight, high strung, pretentious, fluffed with unearned import was her immediate vibe. I can get along with anybody but this lady judged me on first glance and made it her mission to be downright mean. It was game on from introduction with her throwing the gauntlet; intentionally calling me by the wrong name. When I smiled through her transparency teeth seemed to grind as I obliged her condescending request...to spell... my name...(five inches from my face). After sloooowwwly and cleaaaaarrrly annunciating each letter: “D-A-N-A” I looked at my bestie with cocked brow and asked, “sooooo you’ve never mentioned me? Ever?”... ...of course she had, this was *dog marking territory* which, heck, is fine, but I’m a lady...so I left the task to bigE. I’ve lived through enough to know there’s no use engaging ignorance. I proceeded to enjoy the evening with my pal and the other women, who were a delight. The more fun we had the more you could see B.E. show her fangs. It was uncomfortable to see a woman well into her fifties reveal such a nasty spirit. Little digs directed my way, loud “whispered” remarks she hoped would land in my ears, eye rolls intended to wipe the smile from my face. The Herculean effort this woman was putting into being cruel was starting to chafe my glitter. The final punch was her cackling “laugh” that never met the eyes she leveled at me as she smirked, “I’d love to know what business YOU’RE in...”. Oh geriatric Regina George...Game on. Scoff at the business I’m in...which happens to be a family business...baby, that’s where you lose my sparkle and spark my fire. I’m passionate about my business; proud too!! Preparing to watch the first, all Women’s Royal Rumble put this uppity behavior into perspective(and a blog). I’m blessed to work next to participants who will fight to the finish for victory. These participants recognize too all the women before who fought through generations to bring to this epic milestone to fruition. Contrasting mean girl behavior and the women in MY “business” who compete in one arena but support fellow women in another makes me proud. There’s a sisterhood in our FAMILY BUSINESS nobody has any business undervaluing but the loss is entirely hers. Sure, on that night visions of our female superstars finishing moves and a clothesline or two with a Splash crossed my mind but I know better...there’s no use shaking the ropes of a small, petty ring. Dear warriors, teeth did not spill on the Santa Fe plaza that night. She did however reveal herself a shallow puddle of a person and not worthy of warrior woman company. With this in mind I did what a grown a** Warrior would do. I walked away. I turned my boots in the homeward direction and pounded them all the way to my front door. I walked home alone in the cold, muttering inappropriate words, scaring an unsuspecting dog walker, but the second I walked through my front door I smiled. My legacy was the first thing that met my eyes. There sat Mattie on my living room couch, fire burning in one corner, Christmas tree lit in the other, our menagerie of animals all snuggled on her at various angles. My daughter might watch the movie Mean Girls but she’ll not be one. She will be a Warrior Girl because that’s what her mother is and that’s what my girls have been raised to be. This is the victory too, in WWE’s Women’s Evolution; our first ever Royal Rumble... proof of legacies left and the able competitors who will take it further!! I tell this story not for anybody to feel bad for me but as a teaching tool. How do we tell our children about bullying if adults are still guilty of bullying behavior? How do we ask kids not to be bystanders if, as adults, nobody stands up for what is right either? What is wrong in the world we’ve decided not to make “offenders” uncomfortable or embarrassed but the recipient’s feelings of those same emotions are totally overlooked? We lose moral authority to teach our kids if we don’t live the talk ourselves. It’s not ok to reach adulthood and still act the part of a child. Set the example in all areas of your life as a warrior! Support others! Cheer others! Stand up for even the strongest of people; they are often more tired than you know. Don’t gossip. Don’t be mean. If you see somebody being hurt; help them. Bullies shrink when just one person looks them in the eye and says “enough”. Warriors say, “Enough!”. Always be the one to clearly say, “Enough!”. Be a trailblazer...set an example worth following. I believe in the family we make and our family business. I believe we choose the highest good or our weakest selves. I believe actions are infinitely louder than words. I believe there’s no room for mean girl behavior at any age. I believe on Wednesdays we might wear pink, but among Warriors, you’re welcome to sit with us...Always! xo💗d